I want to focus on a serious subject that is plaguing Myspace blogging.
I want to talk to you about the dangers of Myspacisillius Bloganonsensicus Paralyisus (MBP). It is a disease that affects 40, maybe 50 Myspace bloggers a year (the numbers could potentially be higher, but that's all the people who are left blogging up in this joint). It's a tragic disease that leaves it's victims devastated, the enemies of it's victims lulzing, and a junkyard full of wasted blog space, deleted blog dreams, and top ten categories filled with drivel. I want everyone to be aware of the symptoms, so you know how to tell when one of your fellow bloggers has been infected.
Myspace scientists are baffled about what causes MBP, but here are some of it's symptoms the blogger may show:
1. Posting 3 to 4 blogs a day talking about stuff no one cares about and that they didn't even write on their own.
2. Writing a drama blog about how they are "above" the drama.
3. Writing drama blogs about people, blocking them, then going to other blogs to tell those people about how their enemies are too "weak-ass" to take them on in their own blog, which they know damn well the person can't respond in.
4. Writing blogs where you claim to be morally superior, or imply your moral superiority over others, while you are secretly doing some of the same b.s. on the d.l. (No one is innocent around here, you heard?)
5. Spreading lies about diseases, criminal records, or a person's past sexual conviction charges (whether it's the trues or not).
6. Goes into accounts that other blogger's freely gave them access to, and deletes all their shit, just for the lulz. (Hey, if you aren't reporting it and you had access to it, it's fair game).
7. Claiming that you are the baddest motherfuckcas, bitch, asshole, the most-hated, the JUGGERNAUT, or the head bitch up in this camp. (Seriously, you're trying to hard to be the e-shit of Myspace).
8. Auto-refreshes blogs to rank and creates fake profiles to comment on their blog, then has a comment exchange with
9. Claims they are leaving Myspace, then comes back a few days, few weeks, or a few months later. (No one leaves this place). Although, in fairness, the people who try to say "I thought you said you were leaving Myspace?" might actually be the dumb ones. I mean, seriously, did you buy that? You're an idiot.
10. Claims "I have no shame in my game!". (Uh, here's $5, go buy yourself some shame, because if you are saying some shit like that, you probably need it.)
So, there it is. I'm sure there may be more symptoms of this tragic disease and I'd love to hear if I missed anything. Let's get the word out there about MBP. If you, a loved one, a fellow Myspace blogger, or anyone else you just hate suffers from this disease, now is the time for an intervention. Who knows, you may save a life, and that life you save may be your own.
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